First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
