after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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