if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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