I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
