i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
false alarm, still single
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
