does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
