Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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