wat bout pragnant strippers??
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
