i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
