so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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