Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
