i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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