Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
