Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
