she woke up with a sticky ear
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
