I just saw a hot homeless man
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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