This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
