We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I touched a dick in church today
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