Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
