u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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