We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
