I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
