walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
