He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
