I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
NoShamevember. You game?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
