my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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