I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
3pm strippers are depressing
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
