What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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