just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
