so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
