I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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