we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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