Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
