it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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