There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
MIDGETS
????
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
