saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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