She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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