my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
