Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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