READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
