I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
