Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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