Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
