So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
