You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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