what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
