I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
