Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
