i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
