ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
